Pro-life + Pro-woman: We do Both

I recently realized that I’ve been avoiding talking about something. This something happens to be one of the issues that I am most passionate about, and because of how important it is to me, I’ve been intimidated to tackle it. I’m confident about my position logically, psychologically, socially, politically, scientifically, and spiritually. Still, for all of my confidence on the subject, I don’t know where to start— I don’t want to lose people before I get to the heart of the message! So before I begin, let me preface: I care so deeply for women’s issues. I see women as the primary leaders in culture and the family because we are nurturers, yet I see a lack of value for WHO and WHAT women genuinely are. We possess perspectives, skill sets, and natural abilities that are simply impossible for men to carry. This perspective is the position I operate from when I think and talk about abortion. I know that many of my friends have had abortions or somehow been affected by abortion. I am not here to condemn you. I speak to hopefully bring light and love and another option to the table. It is clear that regardless of your stance on abortion, it is a “choice” that almost no one wants to find themselves making.

I believe there is room in the pro-life movement for compassion towards mothers who have chosen abortion, for their partners who have encouraged it, and for the individuals who work in the abortion industry. We can do this while maintaining compassion for the lives of our preborn children. I am not alone in this stance. As evidenced by countless organizations that exist purely to help women psychologically after abortion and to help abortion workers find fulfilling work outside of the industry. Numerous organizations raise money, collect supplies, and provide hands-on support for those facing an unplanned and/or crisis pregnancy (please scroll to the end of this blog for many resources!). This is another essential preface to some of the more scientific and spiritual arguments I have against abortion. Regardless of these resources, we can objectively say abortion is wrong, but it is still important to note these resources do exist as a frequent complaint of the left is that pro-lifers are only “pro-birth.”

The irony in the “pro-choice” perspective is their insistence that pro-life individuals only fight for pregnancies and not for children in every stage of life while denying women who CHOOSE motherhood any real support. I suppose you could say that the pro-choice crowd comes off as not only pro-abortion but also very anti-motherhood— selling the gospel of abortion as a solution to the “problem” of motherhood instead of valuing this important ability that women have to grow life. Abortion has been touted as the saving grace of all women, spreading a message that our motherhood isn’t wanted or needed, while the majority of women will at some point choose motherhood. So is abortion the ultimate women’s right, or does it affirm that our very biology is a hindrance to society?

Being pro-life and pro-choice are not mutually exclusive, depending on what those choices are. We have many choices as women when it comes to our potential for motherhood. We can abstain, use various contraceptives, and if those choices are not an option and we find ourselves incapable of mothering, we can choose the gift of adoption. While focusing so intently on fighting for a woman’s “right” to choose to abort her baby, the left has neglected to advocate for better solutions to a woman’s fundamental right to carry a pregnancy in the first place. A staggering percentage of women struggle to get pregnant or maintain a pregnancy, and the infertility industry profits.

I have watched countless testimonies from women who have chosen abortion and gone through with the termination or changed their minds at the last minute. What so many of them had in common was that they did NOT feel like they had choices. There wasn’t a nationally recognized nonprofit with a multimillion-dollar marketing campaign telling them that they could keep their baby if they wanted and that they would help them be the best mother possible. No, instead, there was a multimillion-dollar marketing campaign telling them that their pregnancy would prevent them from accomplishing their dreams, from getting an education, or from living their “best” life. This ad concludes with its viewers believing that their only option is abortion. That doesn’t sound like a choice to me, and it certainly doesn’t sound like the empowering feminist choice that culture makes it out to be. 

Women deserve better. Women deserve to have their femininity, their personhood, valued wholly. Women shouldn’t have to medically and violently interrupt a natural and beautiful process of their body to be “successful.” The modern feminist movement would conclude that any lack of value of who women are is due to the patriarchy. Still, I actually think it’s us causing the issue— women acting as gatekeepers to other women. 

The woman’s movement was hijacked long ago. First by the sexual revolution and then by the identity politics of the far left— the latter working so effectively AGAINST women that they no longer fight for women at all (I recommend reading “Subverted” by Sue Ellen Browder if this topic interests you). Instead of modern feminism working to solve the problems that real women face, they have joined in the oppression Olympics glorified by postmodern philosophy. The more boxes you can check off on the list of victimhood requirements, the more your voice is valued in the women’s movement. Lesbian *check*, fat *check*, immigrant *check*, trans *double check*. 

The problem is, the “issues” on this imaginary list have little to nothing to do with what affects women in reality. Important topics like advocating for better conditions for working mothers, imposing child support payments on the perpetrators of rape, more research into the root causes of infertility in women, and the celebration of women’s natural attraction to careers in nurturing fields have been swapped with fighting for abortion on demand, allowing trans individuals to compete in women’s only activities, and changing the term mother to “birthing person.” The absurdity of this narrative calling itself anything other than leftist propaganda, let alone women’s “empowerment,” is beyond what our culture allows us to recognize. 

This blog is not an exhaustive discussion of abortion. However, I feel it is still important to mention another, often less-talked-about group of mothers— those who choose to terminate a pregnancy of a child who has significant birth defects. Unfortunately, in today’s world, medical professionals frequently encourage the abortion of these children and present the act of termination as the more compassionate solution. I have listened to the testimonies of many women who found themselves in this situation and chose abortion, and my heart goes out to them. The torment of their decision is evident on their faces and in their words even as they advocate for pro-choice legislation. Many were convinced by a medical professional who lacked an understanding of the God-ordained dignity of every human life— even those with significant disability or deformity. One of the women shared that she “realized” her desire to continue to carry her severely deformed daughter, who would die within minutes of birth, was selfish. The selfless act would be to abort her baby at 21 weeks. If you are unfamiliar with the details of late-term abortion, it is a demise for that child far worse than any natural death. It is clear to me that the burden of having killed their unborn children, terminal or not, had broken the hearts of each of these women in a way that carrying them to full term would not have. In situations where a child will die within minutes or hours of life, there is inescapable pain and grief, but abortion only adds to the trauma of these moments. It doesn’t magically take that pain and suffering away but instead exponentially increases the confusion and grief surrounding it all.

This blog could be extended to book-length and still not cover all of the nuances that affect the pro-life vs. pro-abortion argument, but I hope my words begin to challenge your thinking. As Americans governed by the constitution and Declaration of Independence, but more importantly, as believers governed by a sovereign and loving Father, we must fight for the primary rights of human beings. We must fight for life. As the founder of Live Action, Lila Rose, says, we must support every woman in the fullness of her personhood— honoring her God-given ability to mother and nurture. 

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

1 John 4:12 . . . If we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

1 John 3:16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

1 Corinthians 13 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Abortion is not love. It does not show love to the innocent life it ends, but it also offers no love to the mother. Let us love one another by helping post-abortive women find the emotional support they need, by showing abortion workers the boundless forgiveness of our Father found in Jesus, by refusing to compromise on our stance for the dignity of every human life, and by supporting women in their motherhood rather than justifying the ending of a life.

I finish with this quote from Mother Teresa, who boldly proclaimed the truth about abortion at every chance she had. 

“Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love but to use violence to get what they want.”

Additional sources and resources

Crisis pregnancy hotline: https://loveline.com/

Post-abortive care: https://hurtafterabortion.com/

Help for abortion workers: https://abortionworker.com/our-story/

Books:

https://www.amazon.com/What-If-Weve-Been-Wrong/dp/B07L3CLTD3/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=what+if+we+were+wrong&qid=1624997522&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.com/Subverted-Helped-Sexual-Revolution-Movement/dp/1621643212/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=subverted+sue+ellen&qid=1624997555&s=audible&sr=1-1

https://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Life-Becoming-Change-Wounded/dp/B08CVSD7J2/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=lila+rose&qid=1624997569&s=audible&sr=1-1

Videos:

https://www.youtube.com/user/LiveActionFilms

https://www.youtube.com/user/prolifeabby

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3xP1jlf1jgKp1NV7BV7PJZix6x-YIDSe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcqsyiqVsXo&t=650s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8-vbOhCqJ0